Cake Wrecks

More with the birthday stuff. My mom asked me what kind of cake I want, and even though I have my preferences, I usually find myself thinking more about what everyone else would like to have. Meaning, I think I'm one of the only people I know who genuinely loves carrot cake, and for some reason, that's where my taste buds are at this season, but I don't want the rest of my family to be like, "Ew. Carrot cake? Seriously?"

But it's so moist and delicious...

Anyway, I spent the day Christmas shopping with my mom, and near the end of the day, we stopped in a book store with my sister. I swear to god, we laughed over this book Cake Wrecks for a good ten minutes at least! Holy s**t! And there's a blog version too, full of hilarious pictures of cakes gone wrong!

This reminds me of my Confirmation party when I was 14, and as a joke, my mom had the purse-toting purple teletubby put on my cake. I still have no idea what that was about. The bewildered expression on my face in those pictures is almost as good as the ones of me trashed and giggling with a knife in my hand at my 21st.

Oh, memories. And cake. Check out the website, it's a good time. Hardly nutritious, but f-ing hilarious.

Busted Punks

As I mentioned in my last post, I spent the holiday weekend "down the shore" (as we say in Jersey) with my family. On Saturday, my mom and I stopped at the liquor store to get supplies for kir royals.

As we were paying, I noticed a big collage on the wall behind the counter—a collage of fake IDs that had been confiscated over the years. The title?

BUSTED PUNKS

It was just too awesome. I wish I had a picture.

Return of the Saucy Cock Box

I'm celebrating the Fourth of July with my family at the Jersey Shore. Last night, Chris and I joined my mom, sister, and a few of my sister's friends at a local restaurant that has great chicken (and vegetarian chicken) wings. Usually we split a big order and get side salads of something.

We got a whole bunch but ended up taking most of them home in an aptly-labeled take-out box...

World's Ugliest Loin of Pork

I dare you to top this ridiculous hunk of meat the butcher sent home to my mother...It looks like a worm. Needless to say, she has decided not to cook it. Would you?

Gazpacho

Sunday night, Chris and I had dinner with my parents. My mom sent us home with some homemade treats, including this gazpacho. Below is the recipe she sent me from the Barefoot Contessa* Cookbook:
Ingredients

* 1 hothouse cucumber, halved and seeded, but not peeled
* 2 red bell peppers, cored and seeded
* 4 plum tomatoes
* 1 red onion
* 3 garlic cloves, minced
* 23 ounces tomato juice (3 cups)
* 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
* 1/4 cup good olive oil
* 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
* 1 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Roughly chop the cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, and red onions into 1-inch cubes. Put each vegetable separately into a food processor fitted with a steel blade and pulse until it is coarsely chopped. Do not overprocess!

After each vegetable is processed, combine them in a large bowl and add the garlic, tomato juice, vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix well and chill before serving. The longer gazpacho sits, the more the flavors develop.

*I don't have a TV, but I love watching cooking shows with my mom. Might I add how amusing the Barefoot Contessa is? It seems like she's always picking herbs and cooking delicious things for the quirky gardeners hanging around the house. And talking about her husband, Jeffrey. Hilarious.